The War of Love
by BlueCrackers
Summary: Natsuki is fighting in a war between Fuuka and Garderobe, and after being sent to the front-lines escapes to go home to her beloved Shizuru... But it cost her a price; a piece of her sanity. ShizNat
1. Unexpected Changes

Chapter 1: Unexpected changes

"So, Kuga, what do you have waitin' for you at home?"

Natsuki Kuga, a soldier of the Fuuka Military, raised her head at the sound of her name.

"Nao? What is it?" She grumbled, opening a can of spam(1) with her survival knife.

"Mutt, I said what's waiting for you back in Fuuka?" Nao Yuuki, another soldier of the Fuuka Military, replied.

Natsuki growled at the name, but raised an eyebrow at the question.

They were currently in their quarters, which was only a medium sized tent with two makeshift beds made out of cloth on the ground with thin sheets which shouldn't really be called blankets. The door, which wasn't actually a door, was two dark green flaps on the side of their tent. Their rifles were resting on dirty rags in the corner of the tent, left of the entrance and bullets were scattered around the guns. A few handguns could be spotted, as well as some knives and two bayonets. This was life during war for the soldiers. Well, for now.

Slicing a chunk of meat off the spam, she shoved it in her mouth, chewing ferociously.

"Well," She said in between mouthfuls of the meat, "I have a girlfriend waiting for me." She stated, downing the food.

"Girlfriend?" Nao frowned, scrunching up her face in disgust at the thought of someone actually__**wanting **to go out with Kuga. "Who in the right mind would want to go out with you?" She scoffed, filing her nails.

Filing her nails was one of the few past times she had since she was recruited and forced to participate in the war.

"Shizuru Fujino." Natsuki replied simply, offering the last piece of meat to Nao, who gratefully took it.

Food was scarce in the battlegrounds. The Fuuka military had more than three thousand mouths to feed, and only had a limited supply of food to feed them. These foods included spam, canned vegetables, canned fruit, long life milk... Anything that can last in these conditions. Once in a long while, say, 3 months, they would have fresh meat or baked goods sent to then from Fuuka, be it from wives or from students that want to help. Anything will help.

Nao raised an eyebrow, thoroughly confused as she chomped on the spam meat, making a small unsatisfied face. She never liked spam. Canned spam sort of made her sick. But after what she's seen out here... It doesn't even affect her that much anymore.

Natsuki sighed, somewhat disappointed of Nao's stupidity. So she repeated what she said, saying it slower so that Nao the Neanderthal could understand completely.

"You asked who in the right mind would go out with me." She explained, pausing after each word and studying Nao's face to see if she'd understand. "And," She sighed, going back to original speed dialogue, "Shizuru Fujino has got a _very _right mind. And she goes out with me." She stated matter-of-factly.

Nao sat there, dumbfounded, spam sitting in her hand idly. Her nail file fell from her hand to the dirt; the floor of their tent. "Woah. She must have huge boobs..." She said absent mindedly, chuckling slightly to herself as she stared off into space. "'Cause you know the saying... The bigger the breasts, the smaller the brain..." She rattled, not noticing Natsuki take the meat out of her hands.

"Stop talking about Shizuru like that." Natsuki mumbled, shoving the meat into Nao's mouth, successfully making her choke.

After a massive coughing (choking) fit, Nao stood up, face red from either embarrassment or by the lack of air needed.

"Mutt...!" She snarled angrily as she swiped at Natsuki with her perfectly manicured nails.

Natsuki ducked under the swipe, chuckling as she ran around the tent, dodging each and every one of Nao's angry swipes.

"I'll get you, mutt!" Nao growled, but it had a playful undertone. She chased the bluenette around the room, blindly swiping at her like a cat, smirking all the while.

They were having fun, something that rarely happened during the half year they spent on the base. Most of the time they were training, or cleaning their guns, or helping treat injured soldiers that returned from the battle... And that's not very fun.

"You two!" A voice boomed through the tents flaps as a buoyant (**A/N: This is an adjective, right?)** blonde entered the tent.

"Stop messing around! You're needed at the trousers as the front line!" She boomed, crossing her arms as Natsuki and Nao blinked.

"Uh... Lieutenant Suzushiro, what are you... Why are you... What?" Natsuki blinked, giving a worried look to the lieutenant.

"Um... Haruka meant to say 'You're needed at the _trenches_ as the front line.'" A small, mousy voice squeaked, and out came a small, short-haired brunette from behind Haruka.

Nao and Natsuki nodded in understanding.

"I see." Natsuki mumbled, thinking of the consequences of going into the front line in the trenches. She and Nao could die there, but they could survive as long as there wasn't going to be a-

"There's going to be a charge." The brunette squeaked, looking away. "Field Marshall Ahn Lu is preparing a charge to go into no mans land to try and even out the odds." She said quietly.

At this, both Nao and Natsuki paled.

"... Oh." Nao managed to choke out, before looking to Natsuki, worried.

"Stop lilly lilacs around and get your rifles!" Haruka shouted, before spinning on her heel, going to fetch the rest of the front line troops.

"That's 'dilly dallying', Haruka." The brunette squeaked, following the loud blonde.

"I know that, Yukino!" The lieutenant growled back, their voice fading in the distance.

Nao glanced at Natsuki, who was lost in thought.

"... Oi, Kuga. Let's go." She urged, grabbing her rifle and poking Natsuki on the shoulder with it.

"... Yeah." Natsuki mumbled in reply, picking her rifle up from the corner and heading out, Nao in tow.

-0-

Shizuru smiled happily; she was holding the most recent letter she received from her girlfriend, Natsuki.

Natsuki was currently fighting in the war, and she was to come home in just a months time! Shizuru was so happy. She hadn't seen Natsuki in so long. It's been half a year since she last saw the bluenette. It felt like an eternity for Shizuru.

Each month, Shizuru would receive a letter from the soldier, telling her all about what's happening in the base, be it gossip, incidents or just how she felt. Shizuru would always gladly read the letters; after all, it was the only contact she could get. The phone signals were cut over in the Garderobe border, where the war was happening, so she couldn't call the bluenette. These small letters that they send each other console them, knowing that each of them are okay.

But this was the last letter she would get. In just a month, she would be with Natsuki in person. Natsuki wouldn't have to use a pen and paper to tell her about her day, her feelings or anything at all really, and neither would Shizuru.

But... Shizuru didn't see how many reasons that this was the last letter there were. She couldn't.

After all, she wasn't at war. She wasn't in Natsuki's shoes.

-0-

Natsuki let out a shaky breath as she stood in the slightly flooded trench; her combat boots felt squishy as the muddy water seeped into them. She surely would get trench foot if she made it out of this alive.

'If' being the keyword.

She was currently holding a pen and paper, quickly scribbling down her last notes to her beloved. She flinched every time she heard a gunshot, and the rain was staining the paper with small drops, smudging the ink of the pen.

"Oi, mutt, hurry up. I think they're calling the charge pretty soon," Nao urged, trying to lighten the mood by the nickname, although fear was evident in her voice.

The bluenette ignored her.

Finishing her letter, she got her survival knife and some tarp she brought along with her, wrapping the paper in it and stabbing it into the dirt wall of the trench, pinning it up to the side. This was most likely her last letter. She needed it to be comprehensible.

She looked over at Nao, who had nothing pinned up, nothing left in the trench and no pictures in her hand, unlike most of the other soldiers that were in the front line.

"Hey, snake," She started softly, dull lime eyes meeting bright emerald. "Who've you got waiting for yo-"

"Nobody." Nao interrupted, "Nobody's waiting for me."

Natsuki paused, contemplating whether or not she should say something. In the end, she responded with a nod, not saying anything but giving her a response none-the-less.

A small awkward silence followed, Nao regretting that she answered and Natsuki regretting that she asked.

Then a certain lieutenant's voice saved them from the awkwardness.

"Over the top!" Haruka boomed, raising her rifle as she began to climb over the trench.

Nao gulped nervously, lifting her foot up and placing it into a foothold on the side of the trench. She glanced over at Natsuki, a wan smile toying at the corner of her lips.

"Mutt... You ready?" She asked.

Natsuki chuckled darkly, already halfway over the ledge.

"Let's do this."

"**Charge!**" Haruka boomed at last, sending the troops off- as well as herself- over the ledge into battle.

And with that, Natsuki and Nao nodded to each other, before climbing over the ledge, shooting their rifles blindly.

-0-

– Spam is basically canned processed meat. Icky it is.

**A/N: **

**Hey people. This idea came to me while I was watching a very sad war movie. My dad was a Vietnam Veteran, and he was in war too. I thought this would be a good plot for some ShizNat... Angsty goodness now, poofy fluff later. **

**Sorry about the short chapter though. This is more of a test to see if people like it... So if you do...**

_**REVIEW!**_


	2. The Letter and the Sacrifice

Chapter 2: The Letter and the Sacrifice

"Natsuki!" Shizuru wailed, sitting on the sofa in her living room, the open letter sitting on her lap. She was sobbing loudly, holding her face with her hands. Little droplets of water fell onto the paper, leaving small wet dots on the parchment that had dried recently from the rain. There was a small slit near the top, as if it were stabbed.

Knock.

There was a knock at the front door, but Shizuru didn't bother to get it. After all, she had just read a letter from her Natsuki, the bluenette saying that she might not make it out of the war. She continued sobbing loudly, the tears sliding down her cheeks, chin and hands.

"Shizuru?" A voice called softly as the door opened with a soft click.

The front door was located around the corner, near the kitchen and in the hallway, out of sight from the living room, although it was close enough so you could hear small noises.

Shizuru's cries instantly died down, having heard the voice. She looked up slowly at the entrance to the kitchen, expecting someone to walk through.

"N-Natsuki?" She stuttered, standing as hope flashed in her eyes. That has to be Natsuki! Natsuki always called her name when she got home... So it just... It just **had **to be Natsuki.

"Shizuru?" The voice called again, but it was much louder now that the person was standing in the kitchen.

Shizuru widened her eyes in realisation. No. That isn't Natsuki. Now that the voice is much clearer than it was at the front door, she could tell that the voice was not her Natsuki's. The voice was less husky, and it seemed to high to be that of her lover's.

Shizuru slumped back in her seat, not blinking as she saw a flash of dark green. It was Tomoe that came in, uninvited, saying Natsuki's greeting that was her name. This was most definitely not her Natsuki.

"Shizuru!" Tomoe cried, seeing Shizuru's crimson eyes as she rushed over. They were red, as if she were crying just seconds before.

The greenette kneeled in front of Shizuru, looking up into crimson orbs. "Shizuru, are you okay?" She asked, her voice harsh. It's not soft at all. Not like Natsuki's gently, soothing voice.

Shizuru's breath got caught in her throat as the tears started rolling down her cheeks again. Everything somehow reminded her of Natsuki ever since she read that letter. That last letter...

She started sobbing abain, holding her face very much like she did before; but somehow, just a few seconds after the abrupt sobbing, Tomoe had sat next to her and hugged her, pushing Shizuru's face gently to her chest.

At this, she started wailing even harder and louder, but not leaning into Tomoe's embrace. It just didn't feel right. Tomoe's chest felt taut, and her abdomen were muscled, having a small four pack. It wasn't soft. Not at all. It wasn't at all like Natsuki...

"Natsuki!" She screamed, sobbing even louder, "Natsuki! You're not dead! I know you're not!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, her voice cracking as she broke down in Tomoe's grasp.

Twenty minutes passed and Tomoe was still holding Shizuru, but now Shizuru was only sobbing softly. The worst part was over.

Pulling out of Tomoe's embrace, she looked at Tomoe's face. Her face was that of worry, but had a hint of satisfaction, judging from the small smile she held.

Her eyes though... They were glazed. They had something in them, which Shizuru had seen many times.

Lust.

Tomoe looked at Shizuru's face. All she could see was beauty. She had successfully comforted this crimson eyed beauty... But there was one that she had to know.

"Shizuru... Why were you crying?" She asked quietly, watching Shizuru flinch.

This gave Tomoe cruel pleasure for some reason... As well as when Shizuru was crying. It hurt, but... It felt good.

Shizuru didn't answer, tears threatening to spill again.

Waiting for Shizuru's answer, she noticed an open letter in Shizuru's lap. Raising her hand in picking up the paper, she didn't miss the chance to graze Shizuru's inner thigh, which was clad in a denim mini skirt, accompanied by a bright yellow sweater.

Shizuru shivered as Tomoe touched her. It didn't feel right. It had intention behind it. What kind, Shizuru didn't know. But... It felt gross. It felt wrong. It didn't feel like Natsuki's soft touch. It felt cold and wanting...

She watched as Tomoe read the letter slowly, head lowering as she waited for Tomoe to finish reading.

Tomoe read the letter in her mind, going over it again once she finished:

_Shizuru._

_It's hard to write this. I can't explain the pain I'm feeling of not seeing you before this. Before the charge. _

_I'm going in the front lines. And we're doing a charge. I probably won't make it._

_I really wish I could have seen you, felt you, kissed you and made love to you before I rushed into a battle that I'll most likely lose. I really did._

_But it's okay; I won't die alone. Nao is with me here. She's coming with me._

_Did you know that we actually had fun today? We were bickering, and it was... Fun. It was great. It was something great to do before I go to charge. _

… _But... It isn't the best. The best would have been to see you, and watch you see me off. _

_I know it's crazy, but it's true._

_I love you._

_Forever and ever,_

_Natsuki Kuga._

Tomoe blinked, absorbing the information and glancing at Shizuru, who had her face down so that she couldn't see her face.

This was the opportunity. Natsuki was gone.

"Shizuru... It's okay." She cooed softly, placing the letter on the coffee table in the middle of the room and hugging Shizuru, who didn't raise her head. "I'm here."

Shizuru shook her head, "But Natsuki... She isn't..." She murmured, moving away from Tomoe.

Tomoe frowned. "Look. I can take care of you. Even better than Kuga could!" She growled, standing up in an outrage. "Everything reminds you of her, doesn't it? It hurts, doesn't it?" She shouted, Shizuru flinching and Tomoe smirking inside, "But obviously I don't remind you of her!" She Yelled, placing a hand to her chest.

Shizuru paused, her face going blank, fear evident. Tomoe was right. She didn't remind her of Natsuki. Everything that reminded her of Natsuki hurt...

"... So.." Tomoe continued, softer this time as she lowered onto the sofa. "... I... I can't hurt you." She said softer, watching Shizuru's face.

Shizuru hesitated, but nodded shortly after. She was trembling. What was Tomoe trying to do to her?

"... Shizuru," Tomoe started after a short while, "Let me take care of you."

Shizuru blinked, finally looking up at Tomoe, only to be met by a rough, lusty kiss. She fought against it, but gave up. It hurt that she wasn't kissing Natsuki... But it didn't hurt as much as when something reminded her of Natsuki. The kiss was rough. Natsuki's was gentle. Tomoe was forcing. Natsuki let Shizuru willingly do what she wanted...

Tomoe was so different.

And... It didn't hurt.

-0-

Natsuki cursed under her breath. She ran out of rifle ammo a few minutes ago, shooting Several Garderobe soldiers that was chasing after both her and Nao. Sure, Natsuki was unscathed, but... Nao got hit in the leg, right behind her knee. She couldn't walk.

So now they were hunkering behind a mix of both Garderobe and Fuuka bodies, lying on the ground lifeless. Around them, a few gunshots rang out, and bodies fell to the ground with a cloud of dust.

It's been about 40 minutes, Natsuki assumed, so it would be near the end of the charge. Not much soldiers were up and standing, let alone gunshots heard. The only soldiers that were standing had Garderobe uniforms on. So that means Fuuka lost. At least the odds are almost evened out for Fuuka.

Looking at Nao, Natsuki smiled wanly.

"Nao, are you okay?" She asked in a hushed tone, keeping an eye and ear out for any Garderobe soldiers coming by.

"Fuck, you think I'm okay?" Nao hissed, wrapping a torn white singlet around her bullet wound. "I have a bullet in my leg! I can't even walk!"

"At least you don't have a bullet in your head like most of the Fuuka military." Natsuki retorted, her face blank. "They can't walk either. They can't even breathe anymore." She mumbled.

Nao looked away with an ashamed face. She hadn't thought of what it would be like if you were dead, nor does she want to find out. "... Sorry." She mumbled in apology. "But what are we gonna do? They have an advantage, and we're he-"

"Shh." Natsuki hushed Nao, covering Nao's mouth with one hand and a finger from her free hand to her lips as she ducked down behind the lifeless bodies.

She had heard voices, and sure as hell they weren't speaking Japanese.

_'Must be English,' _Thought Natsuki, _'They must've wanted to keep they're plans secret in case someone heard...'_ She thought idly, before snapping out of it.

This wasn't a time to be pondering about useless things. Both her and Nao's lives were at stake.

Hearing the footsteps fade away, she cursed, looking over at Nao, who was wide-eyed.

"Shit!" Nao cursed, panicking as she looked around. How were they gonna get out of this?

"Nao!" Natsuki hissed quickly, "You got any bullets?" She asked, glancing over the dead body barricade. She could see around about fifteen shadows further up in the cloud of dust. If they had enough bullets, they could shoot the Garderobe soldiers, then head back to the base, Natsuki carrying Nao.

Nao paused looking through her rifle and her handgun, before nodding. "Yeah." She replied, Natsuki smiling and hope glimmering in her eyes. "But... I only have one magazine left for the handgun." She sighed, holding the handgun out to Natsuki.

Natsuki slumped. There were only 10 bullets in the handgun magazine. There weren't enough bullets left to kill all the Garderobe soldiers.

Nodding numbly, she took the handgun, checking the magazine. "Okay. Thanks Nao." She smiled softly, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"So, you got a plan, mutt?" Nao smiled, seeing Natsuki's smile. She had hope. If Natsuki asked if she had any bullets left, that must mean she had a plan... Right...?

Natsuki hesitated. "Well-"

BANG!

A gunshot rang out into the recently silent air, echoing around the battlefield. It had been quiet for a few minutes now, and Natsuki was beginning to wonder if the Garderobe soldiers had left.

Unfortunately, they hadn't.

Natsuki peered over the shield of dead bodies into the distance, seeing the Garderobe soldiers much closer than they were in the last minute or so. She saw them point a handgun at a dead body of a Fuuka student.

_'What are they doi-' _

BANG!

They shot the dead body, before moving onto another one, closer to their body barricade, before aiming the gun at their head and shooting again with a loud bang.

"... They're shooting the bodies." Natsuki said numbly, slumping back down behind the bodies as she heard another bang. "Their double checking that the bodies are dead." She said softly, looking around.

All she could see were dead bodies of both Fuuka and Garderobe. She looked at a body of a man from the barricade she made, studying the man's face and features. His expression was that of fear, his face contorted in a scream that most likely never made it out of his throat. His eyes were open and lifeless. No, this man did not die peacefully.

"What are we gonna do, Natsuki?" Nao asked, her eyes widening in fear as she trembled.

Natsuki blinked. Nao never called her Natsuki. It reminded her of how Shizuru would call her Natsuki.

_'… Shizuru...' _

Natsuki paused, watching Nao numbly.

She had a gun.

She had someone to go back to.

Natsuki... Had a happy life to live.

Nao had nobody.

Nao had no one to go back to.

No one was expecting Nao to go back home.

Nao had no one.

Natsuki had to see Shizuru again. She **had **to. She would never die in peace if she didn't see Shizuru before her death. She wanted to die with Shizuru.

She **needed **to see Shizuru again.

Click.

Natsuki raised the handgun to Nao's temple.

She had to do this. She had to just see Shizuru... even if it just was a glimpse of the auburn hair.

"N-Natsuki-? What are you doing?" Nao asked in a hushed tone, her eyes showing a tremendous amount of fear, watching Natsuki's now dull emerald eyes with her own lime.

She had to.

"I'm sorry."

"What? Natsu-" 

Bang.

Nao fell to the ground, limp as blood seeped out of her temple, soaking the dirt in her crimson.

Natsuki had killed Nao.

"..." Natsuki glanced at the blood, touching it with her free hand and raising it to her eyes.

"... This looks like... Shizuru..." She mumbled idly, looking at the crimson red blood.

She snapped out of it once she heard voices shout in English, panicking slightly before remembering her sick plan.

She placed the handgun in Nao's hands, wrapping her fingers around the handle, and resting it gently on the ground.

The foreign voices got louder, signalling that the Garderobe soldiers were close.

She stared at Nao for a second, then at the blood. She knew what she had chosen.

"... I'm sorry." She repeated softly before crawling in under a dead body, lying still and unmoving. Her eyes stayed open, staring at Nao. She was going to act as if she were dead, coincidentally killed there, next to Nao.

Just as she did that, a foot stood right next to her head.

Natsuki stopped breathing, watching at the man that owned that foot kneel down and examine Nao.

"Oi! What happened over there!" A voice shouted in Japanese, and a person stepped into sight of Natsuki.

"It's just another suicide, Takeda." The man replied, standing again, not bothering to check the other bodies. "Let's check the bodies over there." He said, pointing north, the opposite direction to the Fuuka base.

"Oh. Whatever. Come on then, Tate." The man named Takeda replied, walking off and out of sight.

The man named Tate looked back at Nao, before nodding and walking off into the distance, following Takeda.

A few minutes passed, and Natsuki deemed it was safe to move again.

She crawled out from underneath the dead body, before standing shakily. Her eyes had tears pooling in them, and she glanced down at Nao.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Nao." She uttered, before wiping her eyes and walking south, to the base.

She was selfish. She killed Nao so she herself could see Shizuru. Sure, Nao didn't have anyone waiting for her, but it didn't mean she could meet someone that could. She had a life to live as well... And Natsuki sacrificed that for her own selfish needs.

Natsuki felt... Disgusting, to say the least. What had she become? She'd become a monster.

"... I'm sorry..."

-0-

Tomoe smirked. She had finally gotten Shizuru to sleep on the sofa after a few more hours of crying, and was now sitting on an armchair positioned across from the sofa. She was staring at Shizuru's tear-stained face, smirking cruelly yet lustfully.

Her eyes yet again rested upon the letter that was on the coffee table. Picking it up, she read it again.

"..." A small, disgusted frown appeared on Tomoe's face as she read it.

"How sickeningly sweet." She mumbled, getting out a packet of cigarettes from her pocket, still holding the letter with her free hand.

She opened the packet skilfully with one hand, placing the packet on the arm of the chair and slipping a cigarette out, sticking it in her mouth. She got the zippo lighter that was tucked in with the cigarettes in the box out and lit it, moving the flame near the tip of the cigarette, lighting it up and dropping the lighter in her lap, taking a puff of the toxic stick.

She exhaled the smoke, tapping the cigarette's ashes off in the ashtray that was on the coffee table.

She sighed. "It's so sweet... That it burns." She chuckled, holding the letter up and getting the lighter again with her free hand. She lit up the lighter, and moved the flame under the parchment setting it alight.

She dropped it in the ashtray, watching the paper shrink in size and turn into ashes.

"Natsuki, dear, you shouldn't right things as sweet as this," She sighed to herself, "Because Shizuru... Is now mine." She chuckled, smirking toothily as she leaned back in her cushioned chair.

"... So sweet... That it burns."

-0-

**A/N:**

**Hey! Just so you know, this is definitely going to be a multi-chapter fanfic!**

**Thank you for reviewing this fic, I'm glad that you all like it! AND YAY! One day update! This chapter is around 2,000 words more than the last one. So yeah. :D**

**To tell the truth, I had to expand this a lot to get this much. I mean, this all started with a 500 word notebook story. Not descriptive, not that great, and had a lot of flaws in it. So, I'm halfway through that 500 word story. And don't worry, there'll be more than that! The 500 words is all that I have pre-written, and there'll be plenty more!**

**Sorry about the angsty stuff. Tomoe is such a bitch. **

**And sorry. I killed off Nao. REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT. It's just... Argh. I didn't even want to, she's one of my favourite characters! I had to because of the storyline! FLAME IF YOU WANT, I DESERVE IT!**

**And yeah, there is some one sided Tomoe/Shizuru, the one side on Tomoe's part. And Tomoe's a sadist in this fic, if you haven't noticed.**

**Also, if you can guess why Nao's blood reminded Natsuki of Shizuru, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you, and add a bonus scene relating to the plot for you!**

**Well, enough rambline, I'm getting the next chapter ready!**

**Please,**

_**REVIEW!**_


	3. Ch 25: Roses are crimson, Violets are

**A/N: Hello, this is Riddles and it is currently 1 AM in Australia. And I'm tired.**

**But I need to update this story because I have a dedication to do, and that dedi is to Grawr who was the one (and only one) that guessed why blood reminded Natsuki of Shizuru CORRECTLY. Which is because Shizuru has crimson blood eyes. And blood is crimson... You get it? I know it's small, but seriously. Natsuki had killed her best friend, just to get back to Shizuru. So she's lost her sanity. :T**

**Anyway, thanks for reviewing, but I'm surprised that I got 9 reviews on the first chapter, which had almost no action, and only 2 bloody reviews on the second, which was longer, had more angst and romance, and had a character death? WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE? Well, I get that nobody likes their favourite character to die (Poor Nao D:), and no one wanted the foot-licking sadist BITCH (Tomoe) to court Shizuru, and no one wanted Natsuki to go crazy... Or for Natsuki to kill Nao... Or for Natsuki to go absolutely bonkers- **

**Oh whatever, I get the point! No one likes angst! Well, a full story of angst anyway. **

**Just read this (very short) extra of Natsuki and Shizuru BEFORE they went to war, which is mostly fluff to make up for all the angst last chapter. This was set for when Shizuru and Natsuki met; 6 years ago from the current timeline of this fic. Natsuki and Shizuru are 15.**

**Enjoy! (And shout out to Grawrr!)**

ouo

Chapter 2.5 extra: Roses are crimson, Violets are midnight blue

In a field full of flowers sat a teenage girl under the shade of an oak tree, reading a small, pocket-sized book. The field was vast and wide, and seemed to never end. You could only just see the tips of a forest line in the horizon, and the glistening of a stream far off in the distance.

The girl looked young, at the age of 15 or so, and she had brown hair that billowed in the wind, partially covering the upper part of her face. She lifted her free hand that was being used to turn the pages to her face, brushing her hair behind her ear, revealing stunning red eyes.

She had been studying the small book in her hands which held information on different types of flowers, and had several of the plants that the book had pictures of laid out in the sun on a clear patch of grass in front of her. There were a few yellow ones, a white one, a red one, and some blue ones.

She smiled softly, gazing at the beautiful flowers that she had picked from the field. She had finally found these 4 flowers that she was looking for in the last few days. She would be drying them and flattening them soon to put them in her little information book.

"Hi." A husky voice said, making the brunette jump lightly. She looked up to see a beautiful teenager with shining blue hair and sparkling green eyes. This made her eyes widen.

Someone had talked to her? In an empty brazen field like this?

'_Well, it was empty the last time I checked,'_ The brunette mused, before hearing the bluenette speak again, a little louder this time.

"Hey, are you listening?" The bluenette said with a humph, crossing her arms over her chest indignantly. It seemed as if she didn't take too well on being ignored.

"Ara, hello." The brunette smiled softly, closing her book to pay her full attention on the blue haired beauty in front of her. Why was this person talking to her? More importantly, why is she out here?

The bluenette smiled slightly, plomping down in front of the girl and held her hand out. "I'm Natsuki." She grinned. 

The brunette blinked, staring at the hand. _'Ara, after a few words exchanged she tells me her name?' _She thought, slowly reaching out to shake Natsuki's hand.

"Shizuru." She stated simply, giving Natsuki a small smile, which left the girl staring for a few seconds, before snapping out of it. She took her arm back, resting it in her lap, and Shizuru did the same.

"So," Natsuki started, "What's with the flowers?" She asked, gesturing to the colourful flowers in between her and Shizuru. She was confused as to why there are picked flowers laying out on the ground, when there are even more of the same ones still **attached **to the ground all around them.

"Ara," Shizuru started, smiling as she set her gaze upon her precious flowers. "They're for my journal." She smiled, lifting the small book she was reading before up slightly. "I'm collecting them."

Natsuki blinked. "Oh." She stated, looking back down at the flowers. "What types are they?" She asked, curious.

Shizuru giggled at Natsuki's simplicity. It was rather cute to have a curious puppy wondering what you've got. _'… Puppy?'_

"Well, Natsuki-han," She started, pointing at the yellow flower. "These yellow ones are marigolds." She started.

Natsuki blinked.

"They look pretty." She smiled, before blinking slightly. "They look more of a golden colour to me though." She shrugged, in which Shizuru nodded.

Shizuru then pointed to the white flower. "This white one is a gardenia." She continued, earning a shake of the head from her blue-haired aquaintance.

"No, not white, light silver." She grinned, blushing slightly.

".. Yes." Shizuru nodded slowly, before then pointing to the red one. "The red one is a rose." She sighed. Although she liked the type of the flower very much, she never favoured the colour red.

Natsuki, noticing the distaste on Shizuru's face, interrupted. "Crimson." She blurted, her blush a shade darker.

At this, Shizuru blinked. _'Crinson?' _She thought to herself, looking at Natsuki briefly before gazing at the **crimson **rose before her. She gave a small questioning look to Natsuki, who merely shrugged, blush still in place.

"You just didn't seem to like the colour red much, Shizuru." She pointed out plainly, looking away in embarrassment. "Sorry if I was wrong or anything." She mumbled, sighing.

Shizuru shook her head. "Ara, Natsuki-han wasn't wrong at all," She stated, smiling slightly as she saw Natsuki's face light up at being right. "I do have a distaste for the colour red," She continued, "But... I do quite like the colour crimson." She smiled brightly, which earned a smile back from Natsuki. "Ookini, Natsuki-han."

Natsuki was now blushing fully. A pretty girl just thanked her! "Uh, no problem." She smiled wanly, before nodding. "Continue."

Shizuru nodded back, before pointing to the last flower. "This midnight blue flower-"

"Blue."

Shizuru blinked. "Ara?" She asked.

"I said it's blue, not midnight blue.." Natsuki mumbled, frowning.

Shizuru sighed, "Ara, Natsuki-han, what is wrong?" She asked, "Moments before you were detailing the flowers colours, and now you're stating a plain one to the violet?" She asked, frowning slightly.

Natsuki humphed, turning away slightly as she pouted. "Blue is nothing special..." She mumbled quietly.

Shizuru blinked. And blinked again. "Why, Natsuki-han, _midnight_ blue is very special!" She argued, a small smile playing at her lips.

Natsuki turned back to Shizuru, frown still in place. "Well I don't like it." She pouted, about to look away again... Before the crimson flower was held to Natsuki.

"Then Natsuki-han can have the crimson rose, and I will keep the midnight blue violet." Shizuru stated, a bright smile on her lips as she gazed at Natsuki.

Natsuki blinked, staring at the rose before quietly taking it out from Shizuru's hands and held it to her chest. Her face softened and a look of astonishment was placed upon her face, as well as aa large blush and wide, emerald eyes.

She watched Shizuru as the brunette picked up the midnight blue violet and did the same, but Shizuru had a happy smile on her face.

They both held it to their chest quietly.

"Does that seem like a good enough deal, Natsuki-han?" Shizuru asked, gazing at the bluenette.

"... Yeah..." Natsuki mumbled back. It took her a moment to reply, but only because she was lost in Shizuru's _crimson _eyes...

-END-

**Guess who the crimson rose and midnight blue violet represented? Obvious, really.**

**Lol, non descriptive much? Oh well. It's one. I had to squeeze this out of my eyeballs for this one. **

**Ahh, fluffyness. Sorta. Oh, and knowledge on flowers, too! YAY! Most of them were spring flowers. :P**

**Please, wait for more angst next chappy, because I still have much left to go!**

**Another shout out to _Grawrr _as well!**

**ANYWHOOVES,**

**REVIEW~! (And, maybe, randomly pm...? I'm hopeful! :3)**


	4. Love is Torture

Chapter 3: Love is torture

She didn't blink.

She didn't move.

She didn't even breathe.

All she did was stare.

Stare at the body of Nao.

The body of her ally.

Her comrade.

Her _best friend._

The body that was once alive minutes before, only to be killed by the hands of Natsuki, her best friend.

Minutes passed. To Natsuki, it was like hours, days, even months.

But Natsuki didn't care how long she had lied there, underneath those dead bodies, just staring at Nao's lifeless eyes.

And you know what? Nao stared right back at her.

Another few minutes passed, and Natsuki still lied there, almost as lifeless as her closest friend.

But Natsuki wasn't dead.

No, she wasn't supposed to live, but she did, and only at the expense of her best friend's life.

But… Was that the only price to pay?

A noise caught Natsuki's train of thought, shattering any spare thoughts she had as she listened for that noise.

"…"

Silence.

Natsuki didn't hear a single noise; there was no gunshots, no loud _thud_ of bodies hitting the ground, not even the faint sound of combat boot-clad feet putting pressure on the gravel-covered ground in the distance.

No, not a single sign of life was left on the battle field. Except for Natsuki.

Shifting her weight slightly, Natsuki managed to roll the dead body atop of her to her side with a soft _thud_ as the body hit the cold gravel.

And that's when she saw her.

Sergeant Suzushiro.

One normally should fear death, or even feel pain and despair when they are killed. But Haruka's face wasn't like that. Haruka's face was contorted, not into fear or agony, but that of sorrow. For what reason? Natsuki didn't know.

But then she noticed a small flap of paper sticking out from her sergeant's front pocket of her uniform, flapping up and down to the cold breeze that blew by.

Natsuki knew she shouldn't take that paper. She knew she shouldn't unfold it, or read any of its contents, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was a last request of her sergeant. Maybe it was a note she forgot to take out of her pocket. Or maybe it was a letter to her beloved.

Reaching out slowly, Natsuki took the paper, gently tugging it out of its confinements. She glanced up every second or so to see if Haruka would react, but obviously enough, she did not.

Sighing softly to herself despite the situation, she finally slid the paper out of the pocket, trying to ignore her higher up's expression. She unfolded the parchment quietly, reading the contents slowly. She held her breath for some reason or another, as if she were discovering something secret…

'_I love you, Yukino. Don't give up your life because of me._

_Haruka'_

Natsuki felt like throwing up.

Natsuki just felt horrible. She felt like a monster.

Haruka was a sergeant, a benefit to the army, and Natsuki… Well, she was just a private.

Thoughts spun in Natsuki's head, making her feel dizzy.

What if Natsuki let herself be killed?

Would Haruka have survived to go back to Yukino?

Would it be worth it if she didn't go back to Shizuru?

Natsuki fell to the ground on all fours. She didn't deserve to live. Nao didn't deserve to be betrayed. Natsuki shouldn't have been selfish.

She should have just died.

Yet another minute passed with Natsuki unmoving, staring at the gravel beneath her.

Shakily, she stood on her feet, shifting her gaze from the ground to the dead bodies in front of her. Nao, Haruka…

She looked around herself, gazing into the distance, looking at hundreds of dead bodies, just lying out on the battlefield, forgotten and left out to rot.

She felt like she was going to vomit. She felt like she was going to burst into tears. She **wanted **to do so, but she didn't. She _couldn't_.

She wanted to cleanse herself from her selfish actions, be it by salty tears or her own bodily fluids, but she just couldn't.

Nothing happened, she didn't react. She only stared out into the distance, at the dead bodies, then Haruka, and then finally Nao.

Natsuki couldn't do anything. All she could do was walk away.

So she did.

-o-

"Shizuru, don't…!"

A loud clang of metal hitting the tiled floor was heard throughout the apartment, followed by a desperate plea and a loud _thud_.

Tomoe held Shizuru in her arms as Shizuru sobbed into her shoulder, a bloodstained knife was laid onto the floor and drops of crimson blood were falling from Shizuru's left wrist. A diagonal cut was on her wrist, almost vertical, and the blood was gushing out of the open slit.

"N-Natsuki…" Shizuru sobbed, digging her face into the crook of Tomoe's neck and clenching Tomoe's shirt.

Tomoe growled, but still held Shizuru in her arms.

'_Can't have a chance to feel Shizuru up slip by, can we?'_

"Natsuki…!" Shizuru cried, her cry muffled by Tomoe's neck.

This elicited yet another growl from Tomoe, this one much louder than the previous one. She had a disgusted expression planted on her face as a scowl made its way to her lips.

'_How dare __**Shizuru **__taint my ears with that name…!' ___She thought inwardly, growling audibly. Shizuru stiffened in her hold.

"How…" Tomoe started lowly, "...Can you even **say **that name in this apartment?" Tomoe hissed harshly, glaring at Shizuru.

Shizuru just shuddered visibly, her eyes widening as a cruel smirk played on Tomoe's lips. She wanted to move away from Tomoe, but she couldn't. By the time she had even thought of moving away, Tomoe had gripped Shizuru's wrists tightly and shoved her against the bathroom wall, ignoring the blood seeping through the fingers on her right hand from Shizuru's bleeding cut.

Instead of worrying about the cuts, she took pleasure from the frightened look Shizuru had, loving the feel of her beautiful, crimson blood against her fingers.

Oh, how Tomoe loved the pain that shone through Shizuru's crimson orbs. Shizuru's eyes remind her of blood, and oh, how she loved to see blood.

Tomoe was not in love with Shizuru. She was in love with her pain. Tomoe's pleasure was Shizuru's plights, her fun Shizuru's blood, and her love Shizuru's pain.

Sighing, Tomoe held both of Shizuru's wrists with her left hand, her right trailing down the side of Shizuru's face, then neck, leaving a trail of Shizuru's blood behind.

"So, tell me, Shizuru," Tomoe smiled fauxly, "Why were you crying Kuga-san's name and… Damaging yourself?" She asked, jerking her head in the direction of Shizuru's wrist.

Shizuru didn't answer, lowering her head and obscuring her face from Tomoe's vision, which made Tomoe frown. It isn't fun if you can't see the pain in Shizuru's expression, after all.

She tightened the grip on Shizuru's wrist sharply, causing Shizuru to gasp in pain as her head shot up to face Tomoe, whimpering loudly as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Answer me, Shizuru." Tomoe hissed, growling as she leaned in closer to Shizuru.

Wincing in pain, Shizuru finally answered.

""B-Because…" She stuttered, "I… I need Natsuki."

Tomoe's face wrung in disgust, but she recovered her composure quickly, shooting a demure smile at Shizuru.

"Oh, but Shizuru, you have me, don't you?" She chuckled darkly, eyeing Shizuru closely.

When Shizuru gave a weak nod, Tomoe immediately pressed her body against Shizuru's, panting hard and smirking.

"Then scream my name _louder _than Natsuki's."

-o-

Tomoe sighed, sitting in front of the fireplace 3 hours later on the sofa. She was smoking a cigarette, and in the ashtray on the tea table was filled with ashes and many cigarette buds.

She had managed to ravage Shizuru and earned pained moans and whimpers from her beloved hours before, and she was satisfied with her bite marks on Shizuru's flawless skin, her mark to know that Shizuru was hers.

It had been, what, 3 months since Tomoe had moved in with Shizuru, and she still hadn't destroyed the memories of Natsuki.

'_Those memories are carved in there.' _She mused, _'And the only way to get carvings out is to shave the surrounding bits off…' _She sighed audibly, the only noise that could be heard in the lounge room besides the crackling of the fireplace.

During those 3 months that Tomoe lived with Shizuru, Shizuru had tried countless times of suicide, each time screaming Natsuki's name. Tomoe had let Shizuru cut her wrist horizontally, so she could see her suffer, but always intervened when Shizuru tried anything too serious.

After all, her play thing isn't a play thing if it's dead.

Puffing out a cloud of thick smoke, Tomoe chuckled.

"I will get **total **control over you, Shizuru."

-o-

**Yes, sorry for the small chappy. **

**Once again, Tomoe is a sadist BITCH who shouldn't be in this story. But she is.**

**And are we seeing similarities with Tomoe and Natsuki? Yeaaah, I'm a sneaky little bastard. ;p**

**Oh, and guess what I forgot in the last few chappies? **

**THAT'S RIGHT, THE DISCLAIMER! So, here it is, while I can still bother doing one.**

**By the way, this goes for all my Mai HiME stories and this full story too. For the atmosphere, you know? Can't have a stupid disclaimer when someone is DYING in this story. Haha.**

**Disclaimer;** **I, BlueCrackers, do not own Mai Hime, nor can I bother to look up who actually DOES own it.**

**Rate and review please, and thank you for more reviews last chappy! Less than the first one, but oh well, still good! My aim is 30 reviews, and if I get more than that, I'll post quicker! I have already pre-written the next three chappies, so, if you want them faster,**

**REVIEW! ;p**


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